Empathy – “The capacity to understand or feel what another person is experiencing from within their frame of reference, that is, the capacity to place oneself in another's position.” - Wikipedia
Empathy is a revived buzzword that is back in the work world dialogue, particularly in these challenging times in our organizations and in the world. We know from our years of coaching leaders that the ability to demonstrate empathy; a cornerstone of emotional intelligence, is a strong predictor for leadership success. It is challenging to consistently demonstrate empathy when we feel uncertain and a bit depleted ourselves.
Here are tools we give to our clients to help them develop their ability to demonstrate Empathy.
Start by asking questions...and then LISTEN. Question-asking is truly an art. We encourage our clients to ask thoughtful, open-ended questions and be genuinely curious and accepting of the responses. We coach clients to work hard not to have a particular answer they are looking for when asking a question and to be ready for the possibility of changing their mind based on the response they receive. TRY THIS: Ask 2-3 open-ended questions before offering your perspective.
Recognize and appreciate different styles in people in how they like to work. Understand how individuals like to communicate, get work done, make decisions, etc. to help create empathy. TRY THIS: Consider utilizing a simple assessment tool like the DiSC profile to learn more about your employees’ work style and share your style with them.
Don’t be afraid of possible conflict or tension. Be cognizant of the importance of empathy when having a conversation and realize that it may escalate into conflict. Do your best to proactively think through how the individual is likely to respond when preparing for an important, and potentially contentious conversation. Think about what that individual’s interests are (needs, goals, concerns, etc.) and try to think about how you can satisfy their interests while also satisfying yours. TRY THIS: In advance of a conversation, write down your interests along with your assumption of the interests of the other individual. Then brainstorm possible outcomes that accomplish both parties’ interests so you have those in your back pocket when you engage in the conversation. Note: Make sure to test the assumptions you made during the conversation.
For more guidance on building empathy and other key leadership competencies, reach out to Suzanne Sitrin at suzanne@bluebirchconsulting.com

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